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FREE! Stress Busters!
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Are You A
Stressed Out Mama?
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- Less nagging?
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- More peace?
- More hugs?!
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Mama's Stress Busters.
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The physical effects of stress on women are real and frustrating.
If you are a mom, you know all too well what your stress points are and
how your body feels when you are physically or emotionally on overload.
It's extremely important that you take the best care of yourself,
physically and emotionally, that you possibly can. Mothering is a demanding position.
Mom, you set the tone in your homelife. You know this to be true.
Therefore, it follows that caring for yourself means you are able to do
a better job of caring for your family.
Have you ever considered that by enjoying your family you are
decreasing the stress levels in your home? Children and adults who are
enjoyed respond to others in a significantly more positive fashion.
Do you relate to any of these common issues that are known to trigger many of the physical effects of stress on women?
- Are you pregnant?
- Do you have concerns with raising your children? (You may find my email series Mama Stress Busters helpful.)
- Are you dealing with physical issues such as sickness or injury?
- Are you wondering about personal development and how you can achieve what you dream for in life?
- Are you dissatisfied with your career?
- Do you have financial concerns?
- Do relationship issues, including marriage frustrations, eat up way too much of your time?
- What are your spiritual concerns? What role does faith play in your day-to-day life?
- What about the day-to-day running of your household?
Menu-planning, finding ways to declutter the house, and maintaining your family's
complex schedule is a fulltime job all by itself.
Untangling the physical effects of stress on women.
As a woman, the important question is, what can you do today - right now - to feel better?
The first thing to realize if you are struggling with the physical or
emotional effects of stress, is that taking action is the number one key to you feeling better. I cannot stress this enough!
Inaction, on the other hand, will almost guarantee you will stay
feeling out of sorts.
Here are some simple action items you can take to get started feeling better today.
==> The good news is...you are taking action right now by
reading this. You made a decision to try and find some answers for
yourself; that is proactive and smart. Way to go!
==> Grab a piece of paper right now and vent a little. Write
down your frustrations - as many as you can think of. Get them out of
your head and in front of you where you can see them. Take them off of
your shoulders and set them down for awhile. Give
yourself a break!
==> The next step is to identify those stress points that are
bothering you the most. Using the list you just created, identify your
top three stresses. Taking even baby steps on your most frustrating
concerns will help you feel more in control.
==> Now that you've made your list, try to deal with just one
concern at a time. Moms are masters at multi-tasking. However, the
physical effects of stress on women also multiply when we are
multi-tasking. If you are experiencing over-load, doesn't it make sense
to stop and regroup? And at your own pace?
So...pick one of your three top frustrations. Put a circle around it.
If it helps, in your mind, give that worry a big hug, then take it out
of your arms and set it on a chair in front of you. In your mind, back
up and sit down across the room from your worry. The idea is to give
yourself some emotional distance from your challenge so you can see
more clearly and feel more relaxed. Your best decisions and action
ideas will come when you are relaxed and thinking clearly.
==> Time for action. Under your number one concern, write
down as many solutions or partial solutions as you can think of. Really
brainstorm here, don't hold back. Allow yourself to feel silly,
frustrated, angry, hurt, patient and anything else you need to feel.
The point here is the rock-solid truth that answers come out of
critical thinking. When you refuse to allow yourself to see a situation
from only one point of view, you cut off the majority of your answers.
Decision-making is a process and it starts with letting yourself see as
many angles as possible. Yes, many angles won't work. But many will
lead to you thinking about something else and then on to something
else, until you have potential answers you wouldn't have seen any other
way.
Let this part of the process 'cook' for awhile. You have real
frustrations; give yourself the opportunity to find some genuine
answers.
==> Find a friend.
Once you have brainstormed your potential stress reducers, you need to
invoke the power of relationships. Mothering is not a solo effort! The physical effects of stress on
women really start to multiply when we try to lift our loads all by
ourselves. We weren't created to do that!
If you have a friend you can count on to safely share close concerns,
call her now. If you don't, sit down and make a list of everyone you
know and pick the top five names that appeal to you most. Ask yourself
if each is trustworthy and if you are willing to listen to them when
they need a shoulder to lean on, as well. Make sure your new confidante
is on your side and will respect your need for privacy. Choose one name
and call and ask if you can buy them a cup of coffee while they listen
to you. Tell them you need a friend.
If you truly don't have anyone you believe you can talk to, then your
action item for reducing your stress load is simple. Your number one
task is to develop some new relationships that are healthy and
supportive. And you can learn to be the same for them.
You may think this won't help with your immediate challenges, but
you'll be surprised at how good you can feel when you realize you are
taking such powerful steps forward to help yourself by developing
quality friendships for the long haul. Everyone needs such
relationships in their lives and the physical effects of stress on
women demand we take responsibility for making plenty of friendships in
our lives.
Don't know where to go to make friends? Here are some wonderful places to start.
- MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers).
- Mothers and More.
- Your local library has a list of community groups you can join.
- YMCA.
- Local sports clubs.
- Churches/synagogues/faith centers.
- Playgroups.
- Volunteer in your community or at your child's school.
- Local civic or political organizations.
- Take a class at your local community college.
- Book clubs.
Make it a priority to meet at least five new women this month.
Even if it's just to smile and say hi to the mom in front of you in the
grocery line. Meeting people is a skill and like any other skill,
you'll get better with practice.
The physical effects of stress on women tend to pile up.
So it's important to de-stress appropriately and regularly. To do this,
make another list of all the ways in which you enjoy relaxing. Write
everything down, regardless of cost or inconvenience. Again, the goal
is to get it out of your busy, swirling head.
Here are some proven ways you can physically and emotionally de-stress.
- count your blessings. The practice of gratitude is amazing as a stress management tool.
- read a good book/funny book/personal development book (Get a library card and USE IT.).
- talk to a friend.
- treat yourself to a spa/bath night.
- plan for the future.
- listen to soothing music.
- try a new lipstick (or lotion or hair color or...you get the idea!).
- watch a funny movie.
- scrapbook.
- use chore charts to get your family working as a team, reduce nagging and your homelife running smoothly.
- tune up your nutrition level.
- exercise (see your doctor first).
- make a plan or set a goal focused on solutions.
- improve your career. Start by learning about how career tests can help you.
- reduce your debt, get more grocery savings, refinance mortgage rate, improve your budget.
- enjoy your family more. (One idea you might like is called Dinnertime Magic! Click to the family dinner parties ideas page and look for the red sofa.)
- cook.
- garden.
- hug someone close to you (got kids? read my article on hugs).
- help someone else (this really, really works).
- I'll bet you can think of some more ideas of your own!
As you can see, with a few proven strategies, the physical effects
of stress on women can often be successfully managed. Remember, action
is key. When
you take action on a personal challenge you take control. Taking
control can help you feel much better about your stressful situation.
(Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, doctor, or other health care
professional. I am a mom, like you, who has experienced her fair share
of stress. If you need immediate or professional help, please seek it
out today. The words of support and the resources offered on this
website are meant for educational purposes only. And I do hope they
help!)
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with 25 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms at http://www.paintedgold.com.
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