10 Parenting Tips
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My name is Colleen and I've been parenting for over 27 years. I have four children, ages 27 through 8. Two boys and two girls. As you can imagine, when it comes to mothering, I've seen a lot.
Recognize yourself in any of those situations? You probably do. Well, this website can help! Over the years, I've distilled my parenting strategies down to a few basic parenting tips. These are not rocket science. They are common sense ideas. But in this transient world we live in, where the generations don't live next door to each other any more to provide support, encouragement and education, parents begin to doubt their abilities. After all, in parenting the training is definitely on-the-job. I've been very blessed in my mothering. Since our children are spaced so far apart, my husband and I have actually had the good fortune to be able to study our parenting methods, noting what works and what doesn't, and then making adjustments for the younger kids. And now you can benefit from our experience. If you're looking for a specific parenting tip such as what to do with little Johnny when he talks back, that's not on this page. But the principle to address that problem is. That's because the best parenting tips are about principles you can learn and apply every day. And the best parenting resources are the ones that help you be intentional as you apply these 10 parentings tips. Consider these 10 Parenting Tips and think about how these ideas can benefit your family.Parenting Tip #1 - Stay calm and in charge.It's your responsibility as a parent to stay on top of the situation - whatever it is. Your child will continually test you to see if you're still in charge. That's normal and you should expect it. However, do not give in to it. Your child is looking for you to be his hero. Being his hero doesn't mean you make him happy all the time. Being the hero means you earn his respect and admiration. If you learn to do this, the rest of your parenting life will go much, much smoother.Parenting Tip #2 - Keep your mothering focused.This means to be an effective parent you're going to have to put down the paper, the cell phone and turn off the TV. When your children talk to you they are craving you. All the parenting tips in the world won't help if you don't look your kids in the face and be there for them. Give them a little intentional undivided you every day and you'll see a lot of aggravating behavior evaporate over time. Being intentional with your parenting is one of the smartest mothering moves you can make.Parenting Tip #3 - Stay motivated.You've probably already noticed this, but parenting is a long-term game. However, most of us cannot see past Year One when we first have our baby. I'm going to give this parenting tip to you straight: you need to give some thought to what you'll do when parenting becomes boring, old, unattractive, serious, ridiculous, hurtful, and frightening. Because at some point it will be all those things as you help your young human being grow up. When these feelings arise, what is your game plan?One of the most useful parenting tips I can offer you is to consider finding another, more mature parent who will mentor you in these times. Join a parenting class at your house of worship or elsewhere in your community. Don't try to parent all alone! Parenting Tip #4 - Develop outstanding character.Ask yourself what's important in your family life...ipods? Season passes to your favorite sport? When your latest promotion will happen?How about instead...if the kids learn about commitment from watching your marriage. If they are developing a work ethic by doing daily chores and watching you have a good attitude about your job. If you learn that teaching children to tell the truth is more about your honesty than theirs. How about giving a weekly prize for the family member who does the most random acts of kindness? Out of these 10 parenting tips, this is probably my favorite. You'll be shocked at the difference this parenting tip can make. Parenting Tip #5 - Stay consistent.I learned this parenting tip straight from my mom. 27 years ago, she told me how I disciplined my children was less important than the fact that whatever method I picked, I was consistent with it. She was right. Amazingly right!For example, if you say no to a particular negative behavior nine times out of every ten it happens, your child will focus on the fact that one out of ten times, you gave in (if you get a 10% return on your investment, you pay attention, too, right?) Some kids (and I have one of them) are fanatical about this and can hang in for a long, long time, refusing to change their behavior as long as they see any inconsistency. That's why 100% is a good percentage to aim for when it comes to consistency in the rules in a family. Sure, there are times to set the rules aside...but those are special times and should be explained as such. (Like having ice cream before your dinner on your birthday.) But if you 'give in' once in a while just 'cuz you're tired of the battle with your child...then you'll be battling regularly because your child will pick up on that inconsistency and run with it. Pay attention because you just learned a highly significant parenting tip. Are these parenting tips starting to make sense to you? I know you care deeply about your child since you're searching for solid information on how to parent. So I want to encourage you in your search. Keep learning about both yourself and your child. Try new strategies, but then stick passionately with what works for you and your child. Parenting Tip #6 - Enforce your rule, love your child.There are a lot of conflicting ideas about discipline, punishment, time-outs, etc. when it comes to parenting. That's why I want to offer you these 10 parenting tips that don't require you to learn a different rule for every situation.Separate the child from the behavior. Love the child...deal with the behavior. In your mothering. train your kids to know that they are totally responsible for their behavior, good and bad. Hold them accountable. But don't see them AS their behavior. They may accidentally (or intentionally) hurt another child...but they are not a hurtful person. Do you see the difference? I offer you this parenting tip because your children are listening with their ears and their hearts to what you are saying, in both your words and actions, to what you think about them. And they will grow up to become the picture of them you are holding. So make sure you hold a picture of your child as being a wonderful, kind, generous, helpful human being. Hint: if you're in the middle of a battle with your child and you can't remember any of these 10 parenting tips, stop and hug - really hug - your child. Let them feel your immense love for them. It will defuse the tension for both of you and remind you of what's really important. Parenting Tip #7 - Keep your marriage first, kids second.What does this mean? Simply that the best thing you can do for your kids is to figure out how to make your marriage work (and work well). This will add tremendous security to your children's lives and they will respond accordingly. And if your marriage is thriving, don't you think you'll be happier, too?(I feel the need to add a note here...if you are in danger in your marriage, get help now. You and your children deserve a safe and secure life.) Parenting Tip #8 - Use routine and structure to your advantage in your homelife.Kids thrive on structure. From regular naptimes and bedtimes to knowing your family worships together each Sunday, families need comforting structure to feel secure. Besides regular homework time and meal times, what other structures can you establish that will help knit your family together? Use these ideas to start your own 10 parenting tips list!Parenting Tip #9 - Do things as a family.A family is a team...and teams practice together regularly, don't they? Look for ways to connect your family members and encourage your kids to cheer each other on. Frankly, this can be as simple as everyone cleaning the house together for 15 minutes each evening. And playing a board game together occasionally doesn't hurt, either.Are you starting to see that these are lifestyle parenting tips? Create a homelife that depends upon everyone interacting and connecting on a daily basis. You'll see more peace and less family stress as an overall result. Parenting Tip #10 - Expectations are everything.Set the bar high for your kids. Don't expect them to be perfect, but do expect them to do their best. They will work hard to meet your expectations.And lead the way by expecting excellence from yourself, as well. Let's wrap up these 10 parenting tips...As you've probably already guessed, using these 10 parenting tips will take time and practice. In order to keep motivated and deal with the inevitable discouragement that comes along with parenting, you need strong resources that will support your parenting efforts. Do yourself a huge favor and click now over to these two parenting resources and see if they can help take the stress off of your parenting.The first is:
After you've picked up one of these parenting resources, get serious about finding a personal parenting mentor for yourself. Simply look around yourself and think about the families you know that you admire and respect. Choose one that has kids a little farther along than your own, then call up the mom or dad and ask if you can take them out for coffee. Most people are delighted to help out a fellow traveler. (For example if you are parenting a teenager, then you need to find a mentor that has already raised teens.) If you honestly don't know anyone like that I strongly suggest you run - not walk- to your nearest house of worship and get INVOLVED. There you will meet people, like yourself, who are serious about raising their children well. You need to meet them! All my best to you and your precious family. Remember, no one has the influence you do in your family. So use these 10 parenting tips and make every day count! (Are you a new parent? Check out my customized words of wisdom for new parents here.) Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with 25 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms at http://www.paintedgold.com.
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Colleen Langenfeld Creative Energies Enterprises Updated on November 03, 2008. |
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