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If you are wondering what to do with a disrespectful kid, you are not alone.
Lots of us face this challenge. In fact, nearly all families deal with disrespectful kids from time to time. It's the nature of raising little human beings into big human beings.
However, no one wants the disrespect to continue. That brings us to our starting point in answering the question "what to do with a disrespectful kid?"
Please help! I feel like I've hit a brick wall with my child!
Does your family feel fragmented? Do you long for more closeness?
If this is how you feel, it's not fun, I know. You probably have an idea of what you would like your family life to be like - and it's just not the way you want it.
Thankfully, this is a scenario that you can do something about - and you can start right now.
Before you even try any new strategies designed to help disrespectful kids, here are a couple of things you can use right away to make forward, positive movement in your family. They will help set up a healthy foundation for you to work from.
1. Read through the free short report "10 Ways to Reconnect With Your Family". This report will encourage you to take control of your family's everyday schedule and intentionally build togetherness. You will never regret taking the time and effort to do this and you know what else? Building a tight-knit family means you are automatically empowering your kids to listen to you as they grow and stay close to your influence.
That's what healthy relationships are all about.
IMPORTANT: If you are struggling with a disrespectful kid, you know you need to help your child in his frustrations. If things have just started to get challenging, you may wonder if you even have a problem or not.
2. Print out our Behavior Log. Use it to keep track of your child's behavior for a week or two. Then you'll have a better idea of what you're really dealing with. Doing this one thing can help give you clarity and perspective.
3. Is the situation with your precious child still more than you know how to handle? Then take a deep breath and another step towards finding the right solution for you and your child. Head over to Empowering Parents where you will find an enormous amount of articles and conversation written by common sense experts and other parents who have been in the trenches, too. I have found this can really help.
1. The disrespect must stop.
This seems obvious, doesn't it? Yet many of us parents tolerate disrespectful kids while hoping the problem will go away.
Stop tolerating the disrespectful behavior by...
- having privileges cease.
- clarifying boundaries.
- enforcing consequences.
- and above all, don't back down!
A history of unchallenged disrespect can lead to an out of control child.
You don't want that and neither does your growing child.
2. Ask yourself where the disrespect is coming from.
Disrespect is a power play. You cannot have a healthy relationship with someone who is regularly disrespectful.
- Why is your child angry?
- Why is your child defiant?
- Is your kid hurtful to himself or others?
- Is your kid feeling isolated in some way?
Need more about this topic? Read this article. Kids Who are Verbally Abusive: The Creation of a Defiant Child
3. Disrespectful kids and consequences.
Remember, discipline, not necessarily punishment, is what you are striving for. There is a difference! Discipline is about leading your child into adulthood, one step at a time. Punishment is often an angry reaction to the behavior of the moment. You can certainly instill fear into your child, but what you are aiming for is respect! That requires discipline and leadership.
Fashion your consequences as much as possible so they are the natural outcome of the disrespectful behavior. Do not punish to hurt your child! He (and you) are already hurting. Your goal is to develop and train your child. Use consequences that teach and are meaningful.
4. What to do with a disrespectful kid who gets the disrespect from his environment?
As much as possible, remove the environment until he can respond with better self-control.
Discuss, as an ongoing, age-appropriate conversation, the values and morals you feel are important and want to pass onto your young child. Teach and grow together!
- Turn off the TV. Read books together.
- Get to know your child's friends. Steer her towards positive peers.
Moniter the movies, games and music your child is exposed to. Explain that a respectful home is important and you won't tolerate a culture of disrespect. Then stick to it.
If you want to know what parenting program I can recommend that helps parents with struggling kids, that would be The Total Transformation program, hands down. Part of why this program works is because it supports parents extremely well.
More mothering articles for you to enjoy...
Dealing with Disrespectful Children
How to Handle Disrespectful Teenagers
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 29 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms around the globe at www.paintedgold.com.
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