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If you are wondering what to do with a disrespectful kid, you are
Lots of us face this challenge. In fact, nearly all families deal with
disrespectful kids from time to time. It's the nature of raising little
human beings into big human beings.
However, no one wants the disrespect to continue. That brings us to our
starting point in answering the question "what to do with a
1. The disrespect must stop.
This seems obvious, doesn't it? Yet many of us parents
tolerate disrespectful kids while hoping the problem will go away.
Stop tolerating the disrespectful behavior by...
- having privileges cease.
- clarifying boundaries.
- enforcing consequences.
- and above all, don't back down!
A history of unchallenged disrespect can lead to an out of control child.
You don't want that and neither does your growing child.
2. Ask yourself where the disrespect is coming from.
Disrespect is a power play. You cannot have a healthy relationship with
someone who is regularly disrespectful.
- Why is your child angry?
- Why is your child defiant?
- Is your kid hurtful to himself or others?
- Is your kid feeling isolated in some way?
Need more about this topic? Read this article. Kids Who are Verbally Abusive: The Creation of a
3. Disrespectful kids and consequences.
- Remember, discipline, not necessarily punishment, is what you
are striving for. There is a difference! Discipline is about leading
your child into adulthood, one step at a time. Punishment is often an
angry reaction to the behavior of the moment. You can certainly instill
fear into your child, but what you are aiming for is respect! That
requires discipline and leadership.
- Fashion your consequences as much as possible so they are the
natural outcome of the disrespectful behavior. Do not punish to hurt
your child! He (and you) are already hurting. Your goal is to develop
and train your child. Use consequences that teach and are meaningful.
4. What to do with a disrespectful kid who gets the disrespect
from his environment?
As much as possible, remove the environment until he can respond with
Discuss, as an ongoing, age-appropriate conversation, the values and
morals you feel are important and want to pass onto your young child.
Teach and grow together!
- Turn off the TV. Read books together.
- Get to know your child's friends. Steer her towards positive
- Moniter the movies, games and music your child is exposed to.
Explain that a respectful home is important and you won't tolerate a
culture of disrespect. Then stick to it.
Disrespect is a BIG deal to me, as a mom. If you want to learn more about my strategies, sign up for my ezine "I Love My Child" (see sign up box above). See you there!
More mothering articles for you to enjoy...
Dealing with Disrespectful Children
Handle Disrespectful Teenagers
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 29 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms around the globe at www.paintedgold.com.
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