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What should be the consequences in elementary school for bad
behavior?
Is this something that has come up for you and your child? Every child
makes mistakes from time to time; that's certainly a normal part of
growing up. The the first thing you might want to ask yourself if your
child has a behavior related problem at school:
Is this an infrequent, honest mistake? Or do I see a pattern of bad
behavior coming from my child?
The answer to your question will help you determine the most helpful consequences in elementary school for bad behavior in your situation.
Please help! I feel like I've hit a brick wall with my child!
Does your family feel fragmented? Do you long for more closeness?
If this is how you feel, it's not fun, I know. You probably have an idea of what you would like your family life to be like - and it's just not the way you want it.
Thankfully, this is a scenario that you can do something about - and you can start right now.
Before you even try any new consequences designed to deal with bad behavior in elementary school, here are a couple of things you can use right away to make forward, positive movement in your family. They will help set up a healthy foundation for you to work from.
1. Read through the free short report "10 Ways to Reconnect With Your Family". This report will encourage you to take control of your family's everyday schedule and intentionally build togetherness. You will never regret taking the time and effort to do this and you know what else? Building a tight-knit family means you are automatically empowering your kids to listen to you as they grow and stay close to your influence.
That's what healthy relationships are all about.
IMPORTANT: If you are struggling with a disruptive, elementary age child, you know you need to help your child in his frustrations. If things have just started to get challenging, you may wonder if you even have a problem or not.
2. Print out our Behavior Log. Use it to keep track of your child's behavior for a week or two. Then you'll have a better idea of what you're really dealing with. Doing this one thing can help give you clarity and perspective.
3. Is the situation with your precious child still more than you know how to handle? Then take a deep breath and another step towards finding the right solution for you and your child. Head over to Empowering Parents where you will find an enormous amount of articles and conversation written by common sense experts and other parents who have been in the trenches, too. I have found this can really help.
In other words, consequences for bad behavior should fit the
"elementary school crime".
Are we talking about...
- disrespectful behavior - talking back to a teacher.
- homework problems - consistently losing or missing assignments.
- behavior problems with peers - bullying or fighting.
- classroom problems - cheating, disruptive or refusing to cooperate.
- problems at home related to school - deliberately refusing to get ready for
school in the morning or to do homework after school.
or simpler, more innocent behavior issues...
- talking too much in class.
- forgetting to have a pencil (or other supply) ready.
- leaving belongings where they don't belong or losing them at
school.
- excessive lunch trading and therefore not eating a healthy lunch.
- sneaking toys to school when you (the parent) have said not to
take them.
These are only partial lists, of course, but take a closer look at
them. The top list is revealing a student who is intentionally defiant to some degree.
The bottom list is talking about a child who is simply being a child -
immature and forgetful - but exhibiting regular development.
Intentionally defiant behavior is screaming for someone to step up and
take control away from the user. This is often a significant character
issue and
certainly a problem solving issue. In the second example,
while the bad behavior may be
somewhat unintentional, immature and innocent, (albeit selfish) it is
also
a character and maturity issue, and one that can often be solved just
by talking with the elementary child about the consequences of his
actions on himself and other people and explaining that he has an
important job to do - grow up well - and school is a vital part of
that. Blank chore charts or printable homework charts
often help with these types of behavior challenges.
Defiant behavior often needs more intervention. A structured program
featuring ways to break the established patterns of behavior such as
specific word choices can provide education and support for both the
child and the parent as they work towards success.
Consequences in elementary school for bad behavior.
Disrespectful, defiant behavior deserves a strong response. Losing of
privileges and making amends in some way are useful.
Simpler, unintentionally defiant elementary school behavior problems
should experience natural consequences. For example, last night my
elementary age daughter forgot her homework at school. She didn't "get
in trouble" as this has not been a pattern in any way, but we did want
her to be aware that she must remember to stay on top of her daily
responsibilities.
So, she did extra time on her piano lessons and reading; not as a
punishment, but as a reminder that the time designated "study time" is
important and will be kept even if she forgets her homework at
school. In addition, obviously, she will have twice the work to finish
tonight because she will have to catch up from yesterday's incomplete
work. That is a natural consequence.
Remember the important reason we use consequences in life is because we
love our children and want them to be able to handle the real world
when they grow up. And the real world gives us consequences!
Protecting our children from consequences is NOT love, in fact, it's a
mean and unhealthy thing to do. Life IS consequences and we do our
children a huge favor when we allow them to fall and fail (within
reason) while they're still at home in our care.
For additional food for thought, try this article I really like
entitled Good Behavior is not “Magic”—It’s a Skill The Three
Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior.
If you want to know what parenting program I can recommend that helps parents with struggling kids, that would be The Total Transformation program, hands down. Part of why this program works is because it supports parents extremely well.
Related articles:
What to do with a child with very
serious behavior problems
Common behavioral problems in
children
Behavior problems in school age
children
Teenage behavior modification
Behavior modification in children
Behavior modification strategies
Disclaimer:
Remember, I am giving you my thoughts as a long time parent, not as a
therapist. This website does not dispense professional, medical, or
legal advise.
Please consult a qualified professional about your own situation.
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 29 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms around the globe at www.paintedgold.com.
Note from Colleen: Remember, I earn my living making excellent recommendations to you, Mom, so when you choose to click any of the links on this website and make a purchase, I may earn a commission.
Naturally, that means I care about what you think! If you try a product or service I recommend, I'd love to hear from you. How else can I keep my recommendations top notch for all my visitors?
And thank you, for stopping by.
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