Share this page and help other parents.
Out of control teenagers. Do you have one in your home?
Are you afraid of your own child?
Are you unsure of what to do next? After checking out the following parenting report information, keep reading for more answers concerning out of control teens.
Please help! How do I raise my teen or pre-teen?
As a parent, do you have more questions than answers?
Back talk, defiance and disrespect do NOT have to be daily visitors in your home. Start by taking control now.
1. Read through the free short report "Raising Teens". Make sure you are covering the fundamentals in parenting your son or daughter. Even out of control teens who tend to dismiss parenting fundamentals, deserve to see these proven family ideas put into practice.
IMPORTANT: Don't disregard this information if your child is not yet a teen or you have younger children in your home. A huge secret to successful parenting is prevention. By reading this report and using the behavior log (explained in point #2) you'll be getting a jump on handling your growing child's needs today.
Believe me, solving a seven or ten year old's problems is a lot easier than solving a fifteen or seventeen year old's problems.
2. Print out our Behavior Log. Use it to keep track of your child's behavior for a week or two. Then you'll have a better idea of what you're really dealing with.
3. Do you need more help with out of control teenagers? More information designed specifically to help parents like you? Then take a deep breath and another step towards finding the right solution for you and your teen. Head over to Empowering Parents where you will find an enormous amount of articles and discussion written by common sense experts and other parents who have been in the trenches, too. I have found this can really help.
While there is no magic bullet when it comes to handling an out of control teenager, there are definitely some concrete things you can do to bring calm back into your home.
Take a look at your schedule.
What is your teen's schedule and what is yours? Do they ever mesh?
Out of control teenagers often SAY they want nothing to do with their parents.
But the real story is often different.
I once had a professional counselor tell me that the #1 thing she heard from her clients -- many of whom were out of control teens -- was that they didn't get to spend enough time with their parents.
One-on-one time. Close, personal time.
This counselor related that these teens often had tears in their eyes as they reported what appeared to them to be rejection on the part of their parents.
Do you think the parents of these troubled teens thought they were rejecting their sons and daughters?
I'll bet not!
Invite yourself into your teen's life. Not as a buddy, but as the incredibly interested parent that you are.
With one of my children, I used to sprawl on his bed while he was hanging out in his room. Just for sporadic chat. Sometimes there was a lot of silence.
What I learned was after 30 minutes he started talking about all kinds of things in his life.
What are you missing in your teen's life?
We get help for out of control teenagers because they can drive us crazy!
And exhaust us.
So, let me ask you. Who are you talking to about your parenting challenges?
You may confide in a qualified therapist, a clergy or other professional. Make sure your values align with whomever you talk to or your conversations will lead to more confusion and frustration instead of relief.
Something that has worked well for me over the years is to find a mentor (or mentors) to come alongside me in my parenting.
Simply look around you and find another parent whose parenting skills you respect. Maybe you can see that they intuitively understand teens and they use parenting skills that you could use, too, if you only knew how.
Or maybe you know another parent that has gone through the same out of control family life you're experiencing and has come out the other side, wiser.
Ask one or two of these parents out for coffee, tell them a bit about what your concerns are as a parent and ask if they would mentor you while you're going through this tough time with your out-of-control teen.
==> Be willing to adapt your parenting style to what may work better.
Educate yourself on handling an out of control teenager.
==> Be willing to listen to someone who can help.
==> Invest in resources that can help you raise your teen. Books, tapes, courses, workshops, etc. Get a library card and use it. Yes, some resources will cost you money. Some will not.
The point is that your parenting priorities need to be straight in order for your parenting efforts to bear good fruit.
For example, you may give your teen every electronic gadget he asks for but doesn't need. None of those gadgets, no matter how fun or useful, will help your teen learn respect or make you a better parent. Where could you put even a portion of that money instead that would make a difference in your family life?
What to do with your out of control teenager? It may mean doing some new and hard things in order to move into a position of peace in your home again.
Isn't that worth the effort? What price of money or time or energy can you put on a happy home and a quality relationship with your teenager?
Remember, you can't control your out of control teen, but you can exert an extraordinarily positive and powerful influence in their young life. Do your part and show them the way.
After that, it really is up to your teen.
If you want to know what parenting program I can recommend that helps parents with struggling kids, including help with out of control teenagers, that would be The Total Transformation program, hands down. Part of why this program works is because it supports parents extremely well. I cannot overestimate how important I believe getting parental support is when you are dealing with these kinds of tricky challenges.
Trust me! Encouragement, support and high quality resources make a difference! Find some for you and your teen today!
More parenting articles for you.
Tough Love for Teenagers
Problems of Many High School Dropouts
Advice for Parenting Problem Teenagers
Program for Troubled Teens
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 29 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms around the globe at www.paintedgold.com.
Note from Colleen: Remember, I earn my living making excellent recommendations to you, Mom, so when you choose to click any of the links on this website and make a purchase, I may earn a commission.
Naturally, that means I care about what you think! If you try a product or service I recommend, I'd love to hear from you. How else can I keep my recommendations top notch for all my visitors?
And thank you, for stopping by.
We enjoy and value feedback from our website visitors!
We also like to put visitor comments on our website for the benefit of other visitors.
If you submit comments, we ask your permission to share your comments on our website (see permission checkbox below).
We only ask for your name and email address in case we need to contact you for clarification.
We will only use the first name and initial of your last name when saying where the comment or quote came from.
"This information was really useful!" - Jane S.