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There is a lot of available advice for parenting problem teenagers.
Excellent questions and just asking them makes you a smarter, more caring parent in my book.
- How do you know what advice to follow?
- What information do you trust?
- Who do you listen to?
After nearly 30 years of distilling parenting advice, below you'll find some of my top advice for parenting problem teenagers.
Please help! How do I raise my problem teen or pre-teen?
As a parent, do you have more questions than answers?
Back talk, defiance and disrespect do NOT have to be daily visitors in your home. Start by taking control now.
1. Read through the free short report "Raising Teens". Make sure you are covering the fundamentals in parenting your son or daughter.
IMPORTANT: Don't disregard this information if your child is not yet a teen. A huge secret to successful parenting is prevention. By reading this report and using the behavior log (explained in point #2) you'll be getting a jump on handling your growing child's needs today.
Believe me, solving a seven or ten year old's problems is a lot easier than solving a fifteen or seventeen year old's problems.
2. Print out our Behavior Log. Use it to keep track of your child's behavior for a week or two. Then you'll have a better idea of what you're really dealing with.
3. Is the situation with your problem teenager still more than you know how to handle? Then take a deep breath and another step towards finding the right solution for you and your teen. Head over to Empowering Parents where you will find an enormous amount of articles and discussion written by common sense experts and other parents who have been in the trenches, too. I have found this can really help.
Educate yourself on parenting - especially on parenting problem teenagers.
You can't impart wisdom you don't have. Sometimes as parents, we don't know which way is right and we just hope our kids will figure it all out.
I have learned that rarely works.
I'll be honest with you. I don't like heartache. I don't like an anger-riddled home.
So I will move heaven and earth to find a solution or mix of solutions that will at least make things better, if not totally fix the problem.
I learned early on that it is silly to spend hundreds of dollars a month feeding and clothing a child only to refuse to invest in quality resources for parenting, emotional development and spiritual growth. These qualities are just as important as food and shelter when raising a competent, confident young adult. These resources will also help you create a satisfying homelife.
So libraries, bookstores, youth groups, chore/reward charts, educational cd's and parenting mentors have become my constant companions.
After all, if I want to raise my teens to be exceptional adults, I need to be working on being an exceptional parent. Or at least I need to be headed in that direction.
Here's an excellent article to start you on your parenting education adventure. How to Keep the Violence Out of Your Home
Advice for parenting problem teenagers who don't want to be parented.
This is very tough, I'm not going to lie to you. You may even recognize that your influence has been severely diluted or ignored.
This is when the concept of tough love for teenagers becomes all the more important.
Tough love is not about being mean to your problem teenager. Part of tough love is about being an adult and treating him as an adult, too.
With a full-on dose of reality.
Does this seem incredibly sad and harsh to you as a parent? Take heart, Mom or Dad. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
if your teen is disrespectful, she cannot bring that disrespect into your home. Period.
If your teen is defiant and refuses to follow the family rules, then he is stating he doesn't want to be a part of your remarkable family. Yes, that IS what defiant behavior is saying. Telling him this fact means he can make more mature and intelligent choices.
In reality, these are vital lessons children need to learn from the time they are small. These are life lessons designed to protect a family and guide children towards maturity.
If your teenager has missed these important lessons, you will need to teach them now.
And, yes, your problem teenager will probably complain. Loudly! To keep you on a steady path, here's the truth. These lessons are not optional if your teenager wants to live a decent life. After all, respect is not just a part of family life. It's an integral part of being a part of the human community.
Let's do a reality check.
Can you force your problem teenager to learn these lessons? No. The choice is hers. Your job, as a parent, is to present the life lesson. And not back down. Cry, fuss, and complain all you want behind the scenes (a good reason to be using a parenting mentor). But stand strong for your teen.
You may need to investigate some sort of a program for troubled teens. Do what you must do to care for your precious family.
That is tough love.
Any advice for parenting problem teenagers is going to be tough if it's going to work.
You're going to need support. Arm yourself with excellent parenting resources. Find a parenting mentor, as I referenced above, that you trust and respect.
You can do this! I have complete faith in your ability to do what's right for your precious teenager.
More parenting articles for you.
Tough Love for Teenagers
Out of Control Teens
Program for Troubled Teens
Problems of Many High School Dropouts
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 29 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms around the globe at www.paintedgold.com.
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