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Teenage behavior modification ideas.

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What is your biggest question concerning teenage behavior modification?

Turn your speakers UP!
 


  • How to get your teen to listen to you?
  • How to get your teenager to do what you say?
  • How to get your teen to talk to you?

These are all very important questions. I have four children, three of which are already grown. They are all very different people and they all were very different teenagers.

Believe me, teenager behavior modification strategies have been an important part of our everyday life for many years. And rightly so.

Like you, I always wanted to like my teens. To enjoy their company. To know they enjoyed mine. And for the most part, I think we all succeeded - together!

If you are tiptoeing around your teen, you are probably feeling a bit desperate.

Let's get to it, then. Let's talk about how we can answer those teenager behavior modification questions above and learn how to handle teenager frustrations more effectively.

Modifying behavior - how to get your teen to listen to you? First work on the talking.

One thing to consider is that if your teen feels they don't respect you or that you aren't listening to them, then the walls go up in their heart and they don't listen to you. It's very frustrating, I know. You may be doing everything you can think of to relate well to your teenager, to be there for him, to parent well.

And I encourage you to keep doing that. Most of the time, it's not a matter of doing more, but of taking what we're already doing and turning it around.

I discovered that each of my teenagers would listen to me - really listen - only after I paid the price of listening to them. And getting each of them to talk took creativity and patience.

  • One would only open up after 30 minutes of spending one on one time with him.
  • One needed to talk on random evenings at 10 pm - just when I was wanting to go to bed!
  • One found her voice by my allowing her to vent about her relationships with her friends - and how those friendships often weren't going well.

Only after I paid the price of parenting teenagers - and earned a bit of their respect in the bargain - was I allowed to hear what was important to them.

It would have been sooooo easy to say "I'm too tired - let's talk tomorrow" or "I don't want to hear about your friends" but then the floodgates would have closed. And my kids would have found someone else to talk to, someone who might not have shared my values and my love for my child.

You can see, this method takes practice and time. For me, it was worth every second. I think you'll find it the same in your family.

Additional teenage behavior modification strategy - how to get your teen to do what you say.

The short answer here is you can't make your teen do anything. Period.

However, you DO have fantastic influence with her. Use that influence wisely by building up your relationship through the talking/listening modification strategy we've already talked about above. And let's look at where you want to end up: teenagers who comply with their parents mostly

  • respect their parents.
  • view themselves as a valuable part of their family.
  • understand that being cooperative not only helps out others, it helps them, as well.

If your teen is

  • defiant
  • disrespectful
  • hostile
  • uncooperative

you are probably not going to magically modify his behavior overnight. You and your teen have some serious work to do and your teen may not want to do any of it!

Start by educating yourself. As the parent, you are in the driver's seat here. Take control back. As a mature adult, you hold all the cards on experience, perspective and learning. Find out how to play your hand wisely!

There are many excellent resources online and offline that give great help with parenting a teen. Read! Study! Think of this as your new project. Use parenting cd's you can listen to or books you can read that will prepare you for your next encounter with your teen and teach you specifics of what to say and do. Begin to train your child in character development; think of your job as your teenager's coach. Not his friend. Find another parent you respect who has already conquered this stage in their child's life and ask them to mentor you.

See parenting as the career it is and treat it accordingly. You will find it much more rewarding and less of a struggle. The secret here, as you can see, to many teenage behavior modification strategies is that you, as Mom or Dad, are in the driver's seat. When you make a change, your young teen has to change how she responds or reacts, too.

You can do this! You care deeply for your child and that is the single most important quality you need. Believe in yourself and your parenting abilities. There are no guarantees in parenting, but there are great possibilities, both for you and your teenager.

Want more information on parenting teenagers? Here's a very helpful article for you -  Gut Check: Do You Tiptoe around Your Child?

And don't forget to sign up for my ezine "I Love My Child" (sign up box above). See you there!


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Related articles:
What to do with a child with very serious behavior problems
Consequences in elementary school for bad behavior
Common behavioral problems in children
Behavior problems in school age children
Behavior modification in children
Behavior modification strategies


Disclaimer:
Remember, I am giving you my thoughts as a long time parent, not as a therapist. This website does not dispense professional, medical, or legal advise. Please consult a qualified professional about your own situation.


Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 29 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms around the globe at www.paintedgold.com.



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Updated on July 13, 2013.

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