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Potty training for bowel movements is sometimes tricky.
Peeing happens so regularly for a toddler; in fact peeing often happens before a toddler even realizes it.
But passing a bowel movement is totally different.
For some children, bowel movements even seem frightening, either in the sensations that accompany the pooping or in the fact that a piece of the child seems to be leaving his or her body. A real issue is that these same scared kids usually don't have the verbal or cognitive skills yet to tell you about their fears.
So, not only do they suffer in silence, but they may be fighting against your efforts to potty train them.
So what to do?
Potty training and the bowel movement.
When you're dealing with potty training, pooping, etc., the first rule of good training is not to be upset yourself. If your toddler is having a hard time with either potty training constipation or simply not putting their bowel movements in the potty chair, they are looking to you, Mom or Dad, for clues on how to respond to this issue.
Make sure your own attitude is airtight: calm, matter-of-fact, confident, firm and available with unlimited hugs.
This means there are times when you must leave the room and vent. I didn't say you were FEELING unflappable; just behaving that way.
Practical helps for potty training bowel movements.
Remember, pooping usually takes more time to learn than peeing. Often, once you can catch the bowel movement just once, a child will "get it".
So look for physical and facial clues to key you in to when the poop is coming.
Getting quiet, going off by themselves, a faraway look in their eyes, squatting and straining are all good clues that a bowel movement is on its way.
Take your child by the hand and simply state that it looks like it's time to go poop on the potty chair. Help your child get his clothes off and sit on the chair. Offer a book to read or read it to her yourself if she doesn't like to stay on the potty seat alone.
Be prepared to wait! From personal experience you know that a bowel movement has its own timing. This is just a good bathroom habit; learning to be patient and not strain.
If your child has an accident and poops in his underwear, again be matter-of-fact, take him by the hand into the bathroom and help him dump his bowel movement into his potty chair. After you help him clean up, together put the poo into the big toilet for the flush.
Have your toddler help as much as possible with this process of being responsible for his accident. It's NOT a punishment!! It is simply taking care of himself. Putting his bowel movement into his own potty chair first helps him connect the dots of the behavior you are trying to teach him.
If he sees you "taking over" every time he has an accident, it won't matter what you say (or yell); he knows you will take care of it. So why should he change? Allow him to be responsible and practice that responsibility just like you would anything else in his life.
After all, are you going to yell at her for other mistakes she makes (sometimes repeatedly) in her young life? Oh, you are? Hmmm.
Then be prepared for lots and lots of resistance.
Bowel movements on purpose but not in potty.
If you can tell that accidents are happening on purpose and with defiance (not really an accident), again make sure you are transfering responsibility to your toddler or preschooler and not just "cleaning her up".
If you have a power struggle going on, it will take some time to work out of that. You may want to think in terms of starting over to get a fresh handle on the potty training process.
This may feel like moving backwards to you, but your child is not thinking that this is starting over. Everyday is new for her and she looks to you to provide the structure for that day.
Do encourage that your child is unhappy in his poopy underwear. A bowel movement in the undies is not pleasant but some kids don't seem to care.
Make sure your comments are directed to the poo, not your child, but do make comments about how "the poop really smells bad; I know you don't want to keep pooping in your pants". Use potty training dolls or stuffed animals to show correct bathroom habits.
If your child is struggling with difficult bowel movements, you'll want to see this helpful article written by a parent about his son's constipation.
Potty training and the bowel movement - putting it all together.
Do talk with your child about his bathroom habits (not just at him). Listen carefully. Make sure he knows you are on his side. If you can convince him of your sincerity, this will keep him cooperating and lessen the chances of a power fight.
Make sure her whole life is not revolving around a bowel movement. No one performs well under a microscope, especially when you know your behavior has been disappointing people.
Do make sure you allow your child to take responsibility for all aspects of his potty training including bowel movements. If you honestly take a look at yourself and see that your "taking charge" because it's just easier to get the job done, remember parenting is not about the easy way out. It's about raising your child the best you can. That will take time and inconvenience.
And be worth every second. So hang in there, Mom or Dad!
Popular potty training topics.
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Many times just one new piece of toilet training advice that I hadn't considered before was just the help I needed to help my child over a potty training hump.
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Additional tips to help if you are potty training a boy (I've trained two boys myself).
Potty Training Girls
Specific tips to help potty training for girls move smoothly (I've trained two girls myself).
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 29 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms around the globe at www.paintedgold.com.
Note from Colleen: Remember, I earn my living making excellent recommendations to you, Mom, so when you choose to click any of the links on this website and make a purchase, I may earn a commission.
Naturally, that means I care about what you think! If you try a product or service I recommend, I'd love to hear from you. How else can I keep my recommendations top notch for all my visitors?
And thank you, for stopping by.
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